I am writing this post to tell you that you should use Foursquare. It is way cooler than stupid Yelp or Facebook Places which are just stupid, and copycats, and stupid, and not fun at all. I hate copycats. With Foursquare, you get to be mayor of things! Granted, no actual political benefits come from this mayorship but at least you won’t have the media scrutinizing everything you do.

For all of you social-media-inept people, Foursquare lets you check in to places you are using your smartphone. All you need is a phone with GPS and opposable thumbs and you can check in. People’s first response to this thought is “I don’t like the idea of people knowing everything I’m doing.” This is completely ridiculous. It’s not as if your check-ins are instantly sent to everyone on the Sexual Deviants or FBI Top Ten Most Wanted lists; it only goes to your friends! Who you approve! Also, you don’t have to check in everywhere. You want some alone time at the movies or perhaps somewhere more…let’s say…adult, you don’t have to tell all your friends about it. Come on people, discretion.

Finally, the coolest part of all, when you start checking in to enough different venues, you start to get cool badges such as the one displayed above, the Super Mayor Badge. What do these badges get you, besides a ton of money and girls? Nothing really, it’s just fun. Not everything is about money and girls, although this is currently the only thing I can think of that is not about those.

So give it a try, sign up for an account, its free, try it out for a month. I bet a lot of you will be hooked. I know it probably sounds like I work for Foursquare or get some sort of kick-back off of this sign up but its not true. I just feel the need to convince other people to do what I do, even though I hate copycats. I realize this makes no sense.